It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of a good head, must be in want of a good man… or no man at all, some of us would add. I, myself, used to say it all the time until I realized that life gets stressful and being alone starts to feel, well, lonely.
I like to think of myself as an alpha female. Charming, border line cunning, workaholic, sweetheart to some, bitch to others. You either love me or hate me, no in-betweens, which is fine because I hate half-assed anything – including others’ opinions of me. I rather hear someone say that they hate me than have them say, “meh, she’s alright” because I always want to leave an impression.
I always know how I want to be perceived by people, and luckily, I also know how to be that person. But Mr. Darcy was a special case. He – with his alpha male aura, 3 businesses, law school, army experience, and tough exterior – caught me off guard. He was so much like me but nothing like me at all at the same time. I never did get it right with him and it was even worse when I started to fall in love.
Five years ago, I got off the bus in the downtown area close to my university. As I walked around, I found a newly opened cafe/pub close to the bus station. Deciding that I deserved a break, I went in. I quickly made my way to the counter, knowing my order of small coffee – black. I sat in a somewhat secluded area where I could sit and read my book in peace. I didn’t, and still don’t, mind being alone.
Apparently, my spot wasn’t as concealed as I had hoped as a friend from university saw me on his way out the door. We stroke up a conversation, and it wasn’t long until he found another friend of his and politely introduced us to each other. That’s how I met him.
Mr. Darcy. Charming but intimidating at the same time. Loud but not obnoxious. He had just the right amount of conceitedness that I want in a man, balanced with his genuine humanitarianism and philanthropist ideals. My initial thoughts were how we could build an empire. We could build our own first and then build one for each other, and eventually build another one together. After all, if I wanted to stand beside this man, I would have had to make sure that we’re walking in the same pace. My mind was on overdrive because everything about him was exactly what I wanted; that was – and still is – very rare to come by. A part of me still believes that we’ll get married one day. That’s the part of me that still insists that fairytales exist. I seem to have a hard time letting that part go.